Sixty-something Mariah Mistral lives in a world where language, grammar, and books reign supreme. All those grammatical errors won’t correct themselves, and she is blithely ready to help. The indomitable Mariah, haunted by her shadowy actions in the GIA (Grammatical Intelligence Agency), is ready for a quiet life tending her retirement project: a new bookstore replete with psychic cats, an emo barista, and a satirical cuckoo clock.

 But when a swarm of robotic bookworms steals the books’ adjectives during her grand opening, her peaceful plan is ruined. Her grandson becomes Suspect #1, compelling Mariah to confront her grammaholic addiction and her estranged niece, the chief of the Language Police, to solve the theft. Mariah and her magical red pen must stop the Modifier Madman before he inflicts more linguistic damage.

 Mayhem runs rampant in lively Predicate, Ohio (“where all the action is”) as KGB (Kremlin Grammar Bureau) vie with FBGI (Federal Bureau of Grammatical Investigation) agents, Tom Swifties provoke Taylor Swifties, and Ernest Hemingway lookalikes show up everywhere. Will Mariah and her crew of quirky colleagues—the Grammar Guard—be able to catch the criminal, clear her cute grandson, annoyingly alliterate, and restore the modifiers to their correct places before the world becomes permanently bland and her dreams turn to dust?